He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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