Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
