i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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