i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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