your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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