she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
