This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
