Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
