Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
