Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
