haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
