I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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