No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
