I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
