He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
