Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
