I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
