At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The beers last night were like the tears from god
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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