her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
