I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
