Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
honey bunches of taint.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
