what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
