I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
