Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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