There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
