hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
