I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
