Just fell off a train. Bad.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
