i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
