Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
