I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
