Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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