ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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