Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Randomize
