you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
