He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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