She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
