true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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