i think i have herpe
just one?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
