spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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