When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
