we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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