Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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