I will die if light touches me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
