I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
