You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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