Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
