He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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