You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
