piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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