Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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