Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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