I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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