i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize