a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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