Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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